There she goes...

I never really thought I was the missing-someone types. I never really let myself get so close to anyone that I would miss them if they weren't there to lend me an ear. If anyone did try to get across my barriers then it would just be pretense that they will face.

Turns out that quite a few changes have dawned upon me so far.

I met this girl from St. Stephens College in Delhi around 2 months back. She was in desperate need of some washing machine usage instructions.(that was her ice breaker to me) I came to her rescue (sure) and we did the oh-such-a-pleasant-surprise-to-meet-you. After that she did realise I was one amongst the sane people in the hostel's wing so we kept meeting.

I do believe in "Familiarity breeds Contempt". Not that I promote it or anything but it just happens a lot with me. So what had turned out to be a great acquaintance initially started to grow into abhorrence. I started to put forward a deaf ear when she wanted to rant about her problems. Coz that was pretty much what she had to give whoever she came across. Or so I felt after we had laughed on whatever joke could have been made about washing machine and the like.

I started to drift apart. Get more involved in the work I had come to Mumbai for.

We were a trio. The third was a guy from my lab. She played the active role in our group. Pretty much dragged me to everywhere she wanted to go. He had absolutely no qualms to go at anytime-anywhere. I tagged along coz prolly there was nothing better to do. We clicked a lot of pics, made videos. I started accepting that life ain't that bad with them. But also parallelly hoped for something better. (I now realise it was just human nature that was kicking in. Grass is always greener on the other side. I was only a shepherd)And when I did get that "better", it only took a while to diss that one too.

Night outs happened. Feelings were poured out about our respective lives. I cried and in the process got attached to her. She made life vibrant. Not that she wasn't the serious kinds but it was pure fun we had when we were together after spending hours to understand each other. I even became possessive about her.:P

Days went by. We had more memories to carry along with us when we go our own ways. But we never really spoke about separation until it was a little late. She had only two days with us.

It started sinking in that life would be very different without her. We went to each others' labs, watched shitty movies, cracked lamebrain jokes, insult doughnut shop keepers, listened to life flowing in the Mumbai rains while sipping a cup of bad coffee about which neither complained and even insulted bad fashion as girls flocked around in varied clothes.

Now it was time for her to go. Her aunt had come. The car was waiting. I came back from the juice stall to find tears in her eyes.

I didn't know how to respond. I did what struck me first: hush her down and try to make her feel better. It still hadn't sunk in that the red car will take her away. I gave her a quick squeeze and waved her good bye.

I was dazed when I started heading back in the hostel. I sat down on a couch and started texting # that she had gone. Before I realised there were tears in my eyes and I looked up to see her standing in front of me. Smiling. For a second I thought I was hallucinating. But then I got up to push her and kept asking her throughout that why did she come back. I gave her tight hug and then bid her good bye. Promised to always keep in touch.

And now she's in the train to Delhi.

NJ! Go out there and rule the world. love you.

My first ODI

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It WAS my first ever ODI that I sat through the entire time and din't just ask the score and continue with whatever I was doing. I was actually involved in the game this time.

And what an ODI! Sachin has proved that he is blessed from above. Getting out at the 5th attempt is really something. The two times when the review was taken (while the score was still around 37), it made our hearts stop, fingers crossed and everyone was muttering a prayer under their breathe. Because they knew two wickets gone when India had started so well with winning the toss and batting first; it would have been extremely disheartening for the next batters if even the God was out without making atleast half a century. A little game was even played when India was at 141 runs and finally Sachin retired when they reached 187. Point out if Im wrong, but India made the first two centuries in the first 40 overs. Pakkis gave a good fight and their fielding was marvelous. Not to mention Riaz was brilliant. We all were obviously chanting the name of Umar to bowl near the end of power play.

Dhoni should have really taken notice of the pace and asked for a power play before getting out instead of trying for catching the pace.

My sweetest moment was when Sachin was not out just because the tip of his shoe went flying in the air for a split second and then was back down on the ground. This really reminded me of how proper practice with technique counts in crucial times like those.*nerdy me kicking in* Kalman filters to the rescue. For those who don't know what I am talking about, they are the ones that predict the trajectory of a moving body in a video. But this was the first time I saw its real time application so I was a little jumpy then. :)

As it was my first match wherein I left everything behind and went to the audi to cheer for India, the nerdy me took notice of a lot of other things as well. The salt pepper noise was very evident on the big screen especially when an ad got over to show the next ball just in time.

The run rate on a batting field was pretty disappointing in the second mandatory power play as well. But it was Harbajan who started the chawke pe chawka and Suresh Raina gladly took the cue too. But what the sad part was that Harbajan made that particular gesture by the bowler so much that his wicket was the next to fall. The mocking gesticulation by the bowler of stopping in the middle and going for another chance shouldn't have been taken that seriously by him. But evidently his feelings came in the middle of his performance. (This was told to me by someone. I had initially thought that stupid Harbajan brought it on himself by asking the bowler to stop again. Ah, there is so more than what these eyes get to see) Such are other times when I feel it awesome to be completely indifferent and unattached(like how I was towards cricket earlier)..

Anyway, I guess I'll be off to audi again to watch India bowl.

*keeping her fingers crossed*

PS-Is that rumour about India winning when Sachin can't make a century after trying hard but cant make it, true? We shall see :D

Billet Doux

You came into my life in the most unexpected way,

And left me with no words to say.

Didn’t accept you at the first go,

But then it seemed that our story died long ago.

Then came a period of dormancy,

Wherein, I liked Edward and you Nancy.

Pretence of “moving on” I had started,

With my raving feelings everyday I combated.

Misconceived notions, the emotions; the concoction I prepared,

For a change, didn’t know for the better or worse, I dared...

Pointless yet binding,

Superfluous yet satisfying,

Denying yet agreeing,

Colliding yet caring,

Striking just to stumble,

Yelling but meaning to mumble..

It was a confusing but trussing time.

Where I saw your other side,

Wondering for how long will I have to abide.

Something happened one day,

For which, the price I still have to pay...;)

You were doing something to me,

A kismet for which I was whimsically eccentric about...

Your coup-de-grace mollified me,

Femme fatale understood her faux pas.

It was time for the gamine to decide,

Leaving all her plans aside.

The new moon brought with it,

My submergence into the waters of love that flowed,

Whirl in the turbulence – yes, that’s exactly what I did.

A slight fear persisted in you,

The next day when you didn’t have a clue,

Of what mind set I would be in,

Trust me, this time to ego I didn’t give in.

Listened to my heart,

This was a fresh start.

With a higher understanding,

The twinges were healing,

O yes! I was feeling..

That this would last

Till the ship sinks until the very mast...